Anniversary.

I am super emotional, dramatic and at my core very romantic. This is why I write poetry. I can make grocery shopping whimsical if I'm in the right mood. What I've never been great at, though, is going to that place with my reality. I've written love poems when I was single, angry breakup poems when I'm happy and existential poems when all I want to write is something angry and angsty.

The closest thing I've written that I would consider personal "creative writing" rather than my regular oversharing of my blogs/journals was this post, sharing a moment in time when I was soaking in new love. It is one small little snippet that I can read over again without cringing. It is a mere thought and not that awe inspiring..but personal and I hold it dear. So silly for a few sentances.

Two years ago today, February 22nd, I re-connected with this boy I had a crush on in high school. Thanks to Facebook, I happened upon him again... this guy that hovered around the circle of people I interacted with growing up. We went to the same Junior High, different High Schools but knew a lot of the same people. Las Vegas is small in that way. [Later, I found out we were in the same preschool class. I mean, really?!] We had a pocket of time our Junior year of high school where we spent a lot of time chatting online, on the phone, and spent one afternoon making out. No dramatic scenes, just high school stuff. We could talk though, that was for sure.

I wasn't ready to fall in love, but I did. I was defensive about it and nervous. I was not far from the breakup of my marriage. I was vunerable, insecure, and was only mentally prepared for a fling. Preferably, with someone brand new. I had all these grand plans of flirting, shopping, being a cliche montage of "Single Girl" to fill up my time. Instead, I fell in love.

I am so happy to be where I am. To be with him. He makes me laugh, helps me grow, understanding when I'm a whirlwind of emotion (often), and can make me melt with a kiss. I love his freckles, his nerdiness, his endless collections (magic cards, 40 K, vintage books, endless mp3's) when the only collection I own is all of the Harry Potter movies on DVD. We are both ADD/scatterbrained, and enjoy above all being lazy and staying in bed together until well after noon.  He isn't afraid to be sensitive, but at the end of the day is a stubborn Taurus and I like the blend.

I'm not good at putting my mushy stuff on paper when its about that real life day to day stuff. The emotion is too big to fit into an anniversary blog post. Yet, I try. I will always try because it deserves it. That love thing.

I love you, Kree.  Happy Two years!

Somebody That I Used To Know

This is, no doubt, the best breakup song I've ever heard.






Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know lyrics

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go 
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know...
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

I used to know
That I used to know

Somebody...






(p.s. My relationship is great, I just really love fantastic songwriting and can relate from the past)

First World Problem, I know.

I think I need to carry around a notebook like Harriet or, if I were cool,  Enid.

I always have such high hopes for what I'll write. During the day, I write blog posts in my head, start poems, connect dots between ideas that I can't wait to write down. Then, I finish my 8 hour work shift, drive home for 45 minutes, feed my cat, spend some time with my boyfriend, eat dinner and then the next thing I know it is 10:30 at night and the ideas are a little too blurry and my brain just doesn't want to dig in that deep.

I need to write it down, even if it is half a thought...nonsense...trite.

I want to fill pages and pages, and yet I struggle to get in 2 paragraphs because I'm too spent from being a responsible member of society.

I want to be Walden, lost in the woods-- not fighting traffic and worrying about how many points were in that cookie.

I'm not so much nostalgic for childhood like almost everyone I know... I yearn for freedom. For gorgeous late morning strolls and the energy to do what I want and not just enough energy to exist and pay my bills and maybe catch a movie on a Saturday night.

There is more than this out there, but so few who grasp it and make it work. I need to find my way there.

Do-Over

This week, the theme for GBE (Group Blogging Experience) is "Do-Over".

I work with a lot of 20-somethings, like myself. We talk constantly about 90's cartoons, old music we grew up listening to and the nostalgia of favorite video games and Goosebumps books.

Inevitably, someone mentions how much they would love a do-over. To be able to go back, re-live those days with the knowledge that they have now.

I've thought about it before as well. What I would do differently? What would I choose to do? Usually, I want to change my general underachieving attitude towards school. I'd love to go up to the 14 year old Elizabeth, give her a hug and tell her that you know it sucks, and you ended up in a poorly run school... but that you'll have some good teachers and this time will fly by. Just suck it up, get off AOL Instant Messenger and do your homework!

I don't regret things that I've done, I regret not doing things I wanted to do because I didn't believe in myself. Recently, I've been all about making positive changes and making 2012 the year of Action in my life. I don't want to be 36 looking back and wishing I could tell the 26 year old Elizabeth that she shouldn't have given up.

We all make mistakes...sometimes they are so big they change the course of your life. That's ok. Truly. Without those mistake, how would we grow?

The people who are the most interesting, the most humble, the most..full of life are those that have failed but kept going.

I'm gonna be sore tomorrow.

One of my character flaws is that I do something, and then want to share and get praise for it. I'm talking about the things we all have to do, like cleaning or taking my vitamins. I remember the day it was pointed out to me during a fight with my ex. "Why do you want praise for doing what you're supposed to be doing?!" Obviously, I had no answer to that! That's just one of those things about me, and hopefully I have enough redeeming qualities to counter-balance this obnoxious quirk.

...and with that said, I'm so happy because I EXERCISED today! ;)

Not just a 10 minute brief walk or some yoga, but "Medium-intensity" Zumba on my Wii for 25 minutes and it kicked my butt. So much so that my boyfriend, in passing, said "breath in your nose and out your mouth".  So what do I want to do an hour later? Share with the internet of my amazing accomplishment of getting off of my butt!

It is my blog, and if I can't be self-indulgent here then what's the point?

I'm going to be a bridesmaid in April, and I'm wearing a dress where my arms are exposed. I haven't exercised consistently in a very long time, and I have a goal for myself to lose 20lbs. I've lost 3 so far, but the scale was not moving because I haven't been moving. Time for that to change. I promise I won't become a Diet Brain Zombie and keep this to my weight watchers blog, but I had to give myself a victory shout out today. This odd, random Wednesday in February...is the day that I got home from work, didn't want to work out but did it anyway.

Source: vintagerosegarden.tumblr.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

Today was a perfect kind of Sunday. My boyfriend and I both got great sleep, and woke up happy at a good "sleep-in" time. It wasn't too early to where you feel like you didn't get that extra weekend time, but not too late that you can't get brunch or the day feels wasted. We didn't get brunch, but we spent lots of time in bed having fun afternoon sex, snuggling and watching old episodes of Entourage. I call that a success!! We also managed to get his haircut, eat dinner and do a few chores. I seriously don't want the day to end, and its midnight. Sigh.  

I wanted to share this, because I can set myself up for lots of miserable days by putting some expectation on myself of what the day will be like and can't get around it if it doesn't work out. I need to live more in the moment, I think we all enjoy ourselves a lot more when we do! Plus, sometimes hair cuts, dishes and cleaning litter boxes have to happen, but I still consider this a perfect day. I hope yours was similar. 

The Peach Keeper

I have recently joined a blogging group which posts prompts/weekly topics. I like the group because its suggests things, but it is not a contest or obligation. I love to write, and know that to improve you should challenge yourself and do it more often, so here we go! 

This week's topic is to Review something. I thought about what I could review, and thought about reviewing Ingrid Michaelson's new album, but I kept coming back to a book I read recently and loved. 

Source: barnesandnoble.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

The book falls into a category of "Magical Realism" but of all of the author's books, this one has the least magic and mostly just refers to superstitions. I like the way that she adds a bit of magic to the other books, but this one has enough going on that you don't miss it. The story is about two 30 year old women who have grown up in the same town but are just finding friendship through a connection their grandmother's have had their whole lives. Both are easy to relate to and have their own voice. I liked the story and how it was wrapped up, but I think each heroine was interesting enough to have had their own story. I don't mind when lives intertwine and a story breaks off the way it does is in this book, but I think it is better suited for a story about one evening or event. 

What I love about Sarah Addison Allen's books, is that the town becomes a character of its own. Every place a character dwells has a quirk or neighbor that makes it feel more real. You care about it all, and want to take a trip to the greasy diner or the tourist-strewn downtown of Walls of Water. Once you read this, you'll want to read all of her novels. I highly recommend each one, but if I had to pick a favorite..it would be The Sugar Queen.