I haven't been blogging very much lately. I've just been in a quieter mood. I've been processing a lot. I think, going through the final stages of some type of change.

I know this is the cliche of all chiches, but sort of the final emerging of the butterfly from the cocoon. I think we all do this from time to time, and it goes faster and slower depending on what we are learning/going through and what we get out of it.

Something in just the last month or so has switched on for me. I'm feeling a bit more assertive, or at the very least less willing to be walked on. I'm feeling some anger which is not an emotion I do great with, and I think that's why I've been a bit of a hermit.

As you can see by the complete vagueness of this post, I'm not having any ease to explain or comprehend this new feeling, but it's there.

In other news, I haven't fallen off the wagon as far as reading at least 1 book a month for 2009. I just didn't blog them. In August I read Enchanted, Inc and in September I read book 5 in the sookie stackhouse series. I'm feeling too lazy to review them, and neither were amazing for me.


so there. apparently this is the blog post.

Fashion Woes.

So, yesterday (in my area) it appeared to be the first day of fall. Or at least hinting that it's fast approaching. I got up and picked out a cute, coral colored sundress and slip on ballet flats and hopped outside...only to see that it was GRAY outside. Clouds, drizzling rain, 73 degrees outside. Whoops.

The funny part about all of this, was that I was in Portland the last couple of days on a little mini-vacation and noticed all of the fall clothing and scarves and such in the malls. What I realized while there, is that I do not know how to dress myself for cold weather.. At least, not fashionably. I grew up in the desert thus "winter wear" is jeans and flip flops instead of capris and flip flops. Then I moved to a climate with real seasons, but was carrying 90lbs of extra weight and would just wear a big sweater or jacket and that was only in the coldest months. Fall is like some weird mystery. Scarves are pretty, and I like them, but have absolutely no idea how to actually wear them or incorporate them into an outfit. Don't even get me started on hats...I love them but always feel like its halloween when I wear them. everyone wears hats in Portland and I want in on that.

I need some sort of step-by-step guide to dressing cute for fall. Not what you'd get in a beauty magazine, which is 2 outfits gaudy and over-accessorized with nothing under 50 dollars. I need on-the-cheap -- this is how you layer without looking like your closet exploded -- guide to dressing for fall, heavy on the whimsy. So, dear internets, link me, advise me, etc. I'm a size 16, sometimes 14.

Annnnd....GO.

Isn't butter divinity?

>There is nothing better, to me, than sitting down with some buttery popcorn and a Diet Dr Pepper and watching Little Women. I don't know what it is, but I just *love* that movie. And I will admit, with great shame, that I have NEVER READ THE BOOK.

Did your jaw drop? It's like THE Elizabeth-type book, coming second only to Pride and Prejudice. Historical? Check. Woman-Centric? Check. Witty protagonist? Check. Pretty, floofy dresses? CHECK.

The most ridiculous part about my having not read Little Women is that I actually did a book report in the 3rd or 4th grade on Louisa May Alcott. My mom bought me a set of Little Women, Little Men and Jo's Boys which I've never read and I think might be lost in the abyss somewhere, as I don't have it and I don't think its at my mom's house. I have no clue as to why I've never read it. I remember being a little overwhelmed at the length of Little House on the Prairie when I read it in 3rd grade, and that may have been what kept me away later on, even though I was older and gobbling up novels left and right.

So, I am going to buy it and read it because, come on now, I love the movie so much that I forced my Mom and mother in law to watch it with me and couldn't believe that they could actually get up and walk out of the room to do something like pee, or put out a fire.

It is number 1 on my Classics I'm Embarrassed I Haven't Read Yet List.

Tonight, my husband and I went here and it was really relaxing and wonderful. The pool is huge, and the water has a lot of lithium which makes you float easier and just has a really nice feeling. We went in the hot tub as well, but the pool was fantastic.

I love to swim. When I was young, during the summers, I was in the pool all day long. My cousins would get tired and cold at night and I'd still swim for another hour after them. I'd be a mermaid looking for seashells to make jewelry, or I'd be a mermaid solving some kind of mystery.
I'd even find new and creative ways to fling myself into the deep end of the pool, or spend half the the day playing "colors".

In Oregon, there just aren't that many in-ground swimming pools. With lots of rain in the winters, and more animals/greenery to contend with I can understand, but I still want one! No matter how nice the out-of-ground pool is, they are not big enough to really SWIM.

I forget during the week when I'm working and coming home in the middle of the night, what a wonderful place I reside in. There are amazing spots like the jackson warm springs, where as we were soaking in the hot tub a live band was playing music and you could lose yourself in the relaxation. There are campgrounds, rivers and mountains everywhere, and baby deer are constantly in my backyard!

I'm sure that these posts seem redundant, but growing up in Las Vegas, where palm trees and genetically modified grass hold on for dear life...it just never gets old living where I do. Especially in the summers when everyone lets their hair down.

I'm excited about fall, and starting classes at the community college, but nothing beats the summer.

The Happiest Place on Blogger.

I touched briefly awhile back on my pet-peeve about moms and cameras. But, as I've thought about it more...I think it's really just a pet-peeve with society as a whole. heh.

Obviously, since I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop writing a blog post listening to music on pandora.com, I like technology. I like that with our Xbox 360 I can watch instant movies on netflix and I can add movies ALL the time to my queue online when I think of it. I enjoy the internet a lot, and think that it enchances parts of my life and helps me stay connected to people in Nevada. I like cell phones and youtube and all of that good stuff.

I just think that there needs to be some balance. Some things should just be memories in your mind, or one grainy snapshot in a scrapbook. I don't think that every event down to the spontaneous family picnic need to be accompanied by 300 snapshots on the digital camera. A perfect example was during election campaining. I would be watching the news, with a clip of a speech and there would be a sea of people, all holding up their cell phones taking snapshots or video. Nobody was actually WATCHING the speech or trying to process the information in the moment. They were hoping to get a choppy, poorly done camera phone video to watch later. Its obnoxious.

I get that we want to remember things, and we have a way to record things much easier, but at what point are we not experiencing the event with the hoopla of getting the picture?

My husband and I went to Disneyland for my birthday, and we had an amazing time. We have decided to start trying for a baby, and this was the perfect trip to take before we do have children to just enjoy each other and this time where Curtis wasn't working and going to school full time. It was this small piece of time that opened up. We took our digital camera, and we got some pictures in front of rides and me wearing minnie mouse ears....but most of the time the camera was in the bag attached to Curtis' belt. There was a balance. In line waiting at a ride, snap a picture. When he *had* to go on the Carosel and I laughed at him because its a baby ride, I took pictures. But...from every moment out of the car until we crashed in bed after driving for 13 hours, no. I didn't need to record that. I will remember what stands out to me, what is important enough to be memorable.

p.s. !!!! I'm trying to have a BABY, people. Its exciting stuff.

July is almost over! My birthday was on the 24th and I've been having a great little vacation. I got to go to Disneyland and now in Las Vegas to visit my mama.

I realized, though, that I haven't written my book review for July. So, here it is!

First, the background of this book. I wanted to read the next book in the Sookie Stackhouse series, but they were sold out of it, so I was stuck at Walmart looking through the small selection of books. I ended up getting Talk Of The Town mostly because it a) wasn't a book about evangelical church and b)wasn't a twilight novel. That's about all you get at Wal-Mart...and yes, I'm annoyed by that.

ANYWAY, onto the book.

I really wanted to like it. The idea was fun, gossip columnist is 45 and so she gets cast aside for a new younger girl and gets a pity job of writing a food column but can't cook and instead of wanting revenge on her boss she falls in love with him.

The problems I had were that the characters struggles were too out in the open. Instead of showing with dialogue or actions about a character being scared of failure, she just plain states it in the characters thoughts. We should be coming up with that on our own, or it should be something another characters notes to her towards the end of the novel, instead the 2 main characters obstacles are constantly talked about. He can't get over his wife who died, she doesn't want to try love again afraid of being hurt and failing. Then..the constant mentioning of brand names. I really didn't like that. Sometimes you just have to use a brand name..like burburry. I get that, it's very unique and you'd have to describe it. But going from head to toe with designer clothes and down to the starbucks latte grated on my nerves. Also, instead of describing the characters gay best friend as handsome, she just says that he gets mistaken for Rupert Everett. I'm sorry, but that is lazy and cliche.

I did like the characters, and was rooting for them I liked that she revitalized her career and didn't let age hurt her...but too much of the book had me gritting my teeth. Now I'm off to go to *insert famous chicago restaurant* for a delicious *insert trendy food here* in my *insert huge designer* slingbacks. YAWN.

I give this book cupcake out of Five.


The Cupcake System.

1 cupcake - I finished it
.2 cupcakes - I liked it, but I'm not writing its theme song.
3 cupcakes - I'm into it, good times.
4 cupcakes - Wow, this was a great read.
5 cupcakes- It takes the cake! (oh man I love me some puns)

Are you looking for answers to questions under the stars?

I can honestly say that music is one of the most important things in my life. I yearn for times when I can just sit and listen to some music. If I were someone with endless supplies of money, I would own more music than anything else.

I'm too lazy to be a real audiophile, and I have a husband who isn't into it as much as I am. He would rather listen to This American Life or watch Good Eats...which is great too, but I need my music time. To sit and sing and read the lyrics to a few songs, or an album or until your eyes wont stay open anymore.

There are songs that I can turn on, any time day or night, and instantly want to cry and smile at the same time. It doesn't always transport me back to the times I first found it, but it can bring those emotions back.

In my late teens, when I wasn't working (and for a year no school either) I would ALWAYS have music on. In fact, I still miss my 3-cd disk changer stereo I had in my room growing up. I'd pick 3 albums I felt in the mood for and would sing, and write really melodramatic stuff on a notebook/journal from Borders.

I don't have a list of things to do before I hit ____ age, but one thing I do want to accomplish is to learn to play an instrument. I would love to learn piano, or even guitar would be good too. I would love to be able to write music, even if the only person who heard it was my cat Ozzy. I'm sure he would be a fan.




also;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdbkG6cZK5k
ugh, here is the link. I can't find a good video version!
"gravedigger, when you dig my grave
can you make it shallow
so I can feel the rain"